She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
