I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
