i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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