I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
