I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
