You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
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