I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
