I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
