Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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