Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I cockslap morals
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
