I love black thongs
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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