All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
