so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
