Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
