Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
