I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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