my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
