Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
