i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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