whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
