Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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