Pregnant stripper...not hot.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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