Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
