Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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