can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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