i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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