they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
