It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
