Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
