forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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