If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
