My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I have fence marks all over my body
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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