You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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