And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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