so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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