I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
