i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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