these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
