that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
