I can text with my tongue
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
