I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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