Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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