My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
