She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Congratulations! We have a period
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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