he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
