Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
