Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
