I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
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