South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
