Dual....:-)
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
