we have officially lost it.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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