Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
