oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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