He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
